


Burdon of a Best Man

by sternchencas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, best man!cas, groom!Dean, missunderstandings, no Benny hate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-04-08 10:45:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19105525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sternchencas/pseuds/sternchencas
Summary: Dean Winchester is getting married. Castiel has been waiting for that day since they’ve been teenagers. The only problem: Castiel is the best man, not the groom. He’s sitting in front of a ring that doesn’t belong to him and never will. What if he puts it on, just for a second? Nobody will know, right?





	Burdon of a Best Man

**Author's Note:**

  * For [caswatchesoveryou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/caswatchesoveryou/gifts).



Cas stumbles into his apartment, wanting nothing more than to fall into his bed and sleep forever. Today has been one of the worst days of his life.

In the morning, Cas slipped in the shower, hitting his head. Then his car wouldn’t start. He had to take the bus, missing the first one by a second, only to spill his coffee on himself standing in the next one. At work, Cas got chewed out by his boss for a mistake that wasn’t even his fault. On his way back from work, the strap of his bag snapped, all of his belongings ending up on the floor. Cas had to crawl around on the ground, gathering up his stuff while the people who rushed past him cursed him out for being in their way.

The only thing that kept Cas going was the prospect of having dinner with Dean later, but then Dean called and cancelled. He has too much to do with wedding preparations.

The wedding. Cas tried his best to ignore all talk about it as much as possible, but that’s hard to do if you’re a best man. And then there’s the little box on his dresser. Dean gave it to him two weeks ago, for safekeeping.

Cas walks up to it, remembering how Dean handed the box over to him. He opens it for the first time since then. The ring is a simple golden band with a small “W” engraved on the inside. It’s not pompous or even that valuable. Its worth comes from the time it has been in the Winchester family, and how it invites you to become one of them. Four weeks from now, Benny is going to have that pleasure.

A burning sensation runs through Cas. It’s as if he’s swallowing acid every time he thinks about it. Looking down at the ring, he wonders what it must be like for Benny. How does it feel to be Dean Winchester’s fiance, to marry Dean Winchester, to become a Winchester? How does it feel to kiss Dean, a bitter voice inside of Cas adds. What a rush it must be, what a overpowering life changing experience, to be embraced by Dean, held by Dean, loved by Dean.

Cas wouldn’t know and it’s killing him.

He rushes into the kitchen, getting himself a drink. Only after a few hasty gulps and holding a glass that’s filled to the brim does Cas go back into his bedroom. Putting down the glass, he takes the ring out of the box. Dean showed it to him many years ago. They were still in school, too young to think about the rest of their lives. Somehow they ended up talking about it anyway. Cas, with an enormous crush on his best friend, dipped his toe into the fantasy that one day, he could be wearing that ring. But he didn’t say anything. They still had so much time after all.

A few months later, Dean started dating Lisa. He did so for four years, leading Cas to believe that he never had a chance since Dean’s strictly into women. Cas did his best to get over Dean. He still had the pleasure of being his best friend after all. He was there when things with Lisa ended, putting Dean back together.

Not long after that, Dean came out as bi to Cas. Of course, Cas was thrilled but he didn’t want to prey on his vulnerable friend by forcing his own feelings on Dean. They’ve been in each other’s lives for so long, they had all the time in the world. So they stayed friends, Cas doing everything to make Dean happy. Even when that meant driving Dean to a date with Benny.

Cas takes another sip from his drink, turning the ring around between his fingers. Then he looks up at a photograph on the dresser. It’s shows him and Dean.

After college, they got into the Impala and drove around for three months. They had no plans, not much money, and no ideas what the future would bring. But they were happy just being with each other. The photo was taken in a little town whose name they forgot the second they left it.

The day Cas and Dean were there, two bakers were trying to make the biggest pie in the world. Cas doesn’t remember if they succeeded, he only remembers Dean’s excitement. The photo shows them standing opposite of each other, holding up their forks. The local photographer wanted them in that pose. When it took him forever to take the picture, he left Cas and Dean to stare at each other for a long, long time. To this day, that’s been one of the best days Cas has ever had.

“Pathetic,” Cas grunts to himself before drinking again.

Dean is going to marry Benny, and there’s nothing Cas can do to change that. The least he can do is give himself a little high. Cas takes position in front of the picture, his eyes fixed on Dean. He imagines what it would be like to stand before the altar with Dean, getting married, exchanging their vows.

“Dean, you’ve been my best friend for so long, I can’t even remember a life without you. Not that I want to. You’re the kindest, smartest, most loving person I know. It’s been an honor to fight with you through hard times. It’s been a pleasure to enjoy life with you during good times. I’ve been blessed to live a life so full of you and I will do everything in my power to earn up to it. I’ll always come when you call. I’ll raise you from perdition if I have to. I will cherish you, body and soul, and I will always, always love you.”

Tears begin to well in Cas’ eyes. He knows he’ll never be able to say these things to the real Dean, but he pushes the thought away. Instead, he puts the ring on his finger and closes his eyes. Reality will comes soon enough. Tonight, he’ll allow himself to dream.

 

* * *

 

“So what’s so important that I had to drive by here?” Dean asks. “You know how freaking busy I am.”

“Yes, I know.” Cas ushers Dean into his apartment, his heart beating a mile a minute. “It’s actually about the wedding.”

“Okay. What is it?”

Cas swallows hard. He’s been avoiding Dean for a week, but now is the time to fess up. “Please don’t get mad at me, Dean. I had a drink and I wasn’t thinking. It was a stupid spur of the moment-”

Dean grabs Cas’ shoulders, his eyes boring into Cas’. “Calm down and just tell me. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

Cas’ heart stops but with Dean’s gaze on him, he manages to lift up his hand. Dean follows the motion, looking puzzled. Then his expression changes from surprise to something Cas can’t quite explain. He’s never seen Dean like this. He must be furious.

“Why are you wearing that?” Dean asks, his voice shaking.

“I slipped it on and wanted to put it right back, but now it’s stuck. I’m so sorry, Dean.”

“My great-grandmother’s ring. On your hand.” Dean sounds nothing like himself, his expression still unreadable to Cas.

“I tried twisting and turning. I tried cold water. I tried ice and lifting my arm. I tried all kinds of lube. It just won’t come off.” The words rush out of Cas now while he tries his best to hold back tears. It’s bad enough that he’s losing the love of his life, he can’t bear to lose his best friend, too.

“You- you can’t take it-” All the color is leaving Dean’s face. He takes Cas’ hand, staring at the ring. “It will stay on your hand forever?”

“No, Dean, no,” Cas says in a rush. “Of course not. Tomorrow I’ll go down to a jeweler right around the corner. I talked to him on the phone and he’s sure he can get it off without damaging it. Everything will be fine.”

Dean looks up at Cas, his eyes wide and his skin still ashen. Cas squeezes his hand. “It’s going to be alright, Dean. I promise. Benny’s going to wear that ring.”

“Benny,” Dean breathes, as if hearing the name for the first time. “Yeah, sure.”

“Please tell me you’re not mad.” Cas knows he has no right to ask that but the fear of losing Dean is holding him tight.

Dean drops his gaze back to their hands. He runs his thumb over the ring on Cas’ finger, dead silence falling over them. Cas hears the blood rushing through his veins while an icy feeling settles in his stomach until Dean speaks. “No, I’m not mad,” Dean says, squeezing Cas’ fingers for a moment. “You made a stupid mistake. We all make stupid mistakes.”

“I’ll fix this. Tomorrow, you’ll get your ring back.”

Dean finally lets go off Cas’ hand, clapping him on the shoulder instead. “It’s alright. Just let me know how it goes, okay?”

“Of course. I’ll call you right after I’ve been to the jeweler.”

“Great.” Dean nods but doesn’t meet Cas’ eye. “I still have a lot of stuff to do, so-”

He’s out of the door in a second, not giving Cas a chance to say something else. Cas leans against the door seconds later, his legs giving out under him. He’s been Dean’s best friend for so long that they don’t need words. Cas knows that something between them just changed. Burying his face in his hands, Cas lets the tears come. They don’t stop for a long time.

 

* * *

 

Dean didn’t pick up the phone when Cas called him after the jeweler got the ring off. Cas messaged Dean instead, getting a “okay thanks” a day later. That was a week ago.

Cas is sitting at his kitchen table, staring out of the window, his phone in front of him. He hasn’t seen Dean since his confession, and the few messages they exchanged were all about the wedding. Cas even considered giving up being best man, but he’ll do everything he can to be Dean’s friend as long as Dean will have him, even if it kills him.

The sudden ring of his phone makes Cas jump. It’s a new message from “honey.” One night, while Cas and Dean were awfully drunk, they changed the names in their phones. Dean became “honey” and Cas became “sunshine.” Cas is sure that Dean changed it the day after, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Cas opens the message.

“Can I come by your place? Now?”

Cas sighs. Usually, Dean would just swing by whenever he felt like it. It’s a testament to their broken friendship that he has to ask. Still, Cas replies right away.

“Of course. I’m home.”

Cas gets back to staring out of the window with the only difference being that the empty feeling in his chest is replaced by a burning anxiety. There’s a knock on the door five minutes later. Dean must have been close already.

Taking a deep breath, Cas opens the door. “Hello, Dean.”

“Hey, Cas.”

It’s their usual greeting and Cas has a hard time taking his eyes off Dean as he walks into the kitchen. Somehow it feels as if Cas might see him for the last time. Dean is as beautiful as ever, but Cas can see that he’s sad and worried.

Dean sits down in his chair while Cas takes his place on the other side. He’s burning with questions but with Dean, the best course of action is to wait.

“The wedding is off,” he finally says.

“What?” Cas was so sure that this was about their friendship that he didn’t even consider other possibilities.

“Benny and I … we broke up. Last week.”

“Dean, I’m so sorry,” Cas says, surprised how genuinely upset he feels. He hated to lose Dean, but he didn’t want for Dean and Benny to be unhappy. “I thought you- Why?”

Dean stares out of the window. “We both kinda got cold feet, so we sat down and talked about why. It reminded me of being with Lisa. I still love them both, but neither of them is the one, you know? And I’m not that for Benny either. It was a mutual decision to get out before it’s too late.”

“You’ve only been together for two years. Don’t you think that could still change?”

“No.” Dean shakes his head. “We’re good friends and that’s it. I always imagined it to be different when I marry someone.”

Cas stands up and gets a little package out of one of his cupboards to put it in front of Dean. It’s an Angel Food Cake. They call it “Dean’s emergency pie.” “Different how?”

Dean doesn’t answer right away, his fingers playing with the plastic wrapper. He takes a deep sigh. “The one for me is always on my mind. He drives me up the wall, but no fight could ever break us up. He knows what I want seconds before I can even say it. I know all about him by heart, but he still manages to surprise me. I love his quirks and he deals with mine. He can get me out of the deepest hole with just a smile. We can be silent together without it ever feeling weird. Most of the time, I can’t stop looking at him, wanting to be close. I can listen to him forever. I want to pick his brain, know about his thoughts and feelings. I miss him the second he leaves the room. I’d risk everything for him. He can heal me, make me forget the world around us. And he’d make me see that I deserve that. That I’m loved. Unconditionally.”

Cas can’t help but stare at Dean open mouthed while Dean is still looking out of the window. Cas has been at the receiving end of long rants from Dean about various topics he’s interested in, but he’s never heard him talk so much about feelings. About love. He must have thought about this a lot before splitting up with Benny. “I know it probably hurts too much right now, but I’m sure you'll have that someday. I’m sure you'll find the one.”

Dean swallows, the muscles in his jaw moving as if he’s biting back an answer. They both look out of the window for a while before Dean breaks the silence. “My ring…”

“Of course.” Cas jumps to his feet and fetches the little box from his bedroom, putting it down on the table in front of Dean before sitting back down. “Good as new.”

Dean looks at the box but doesn’t take it. “Why did you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Why did you put it on?” Dean’s voice has the same tone it had when he saw Cas’ hand with the ring. It makes Cas shiver.

“I told you. I had a drink and looked at it. I mean, it’s a ring. Putting it on your finger is what you do, right?”

“I just thought-” Dean says, sounding out of breath. He bites his lip for a moment, and Cas can see the anger rising in him. “This isn’t just any ring. And putting it on, that means something. Sam could have given it to Eileen, but he let me have it, hoping that I would find as much love as he did. This ring, it’s love. You don’t just put it on for fun. It’s a gift. It means everything.”

Cas heart stops. He’s rarely seen Dean talk about something the way he does now. “I didn’t mean to be disrespectful. It just-” Cas shrugs his shoulders. He has no idea how to explain himself without confessing to Dean why he really did it.

Dean stares at Cas as if he doesn’t recognize his friend anymore. “It just- what?” Dean mimics Cas’ shrug, his eyes full of anger. “Fuck you, Cas.”

Jumping to his feet, Dean grabs the little box and storms out of the kitchen. For a second, Cas is frozen in place, but then he rushes after Dean. He crosses the living room as if he suddenly grew wings, grabbing Dean’s arm. He can’t lose him. He just can’t. “Dean, wait! Please!”

Dean stops but wrangles his arm free. “Let me go, dammit. I need you to let me go.”

“I lied about the ring,” Cas confesses, the words rooting them both to the spot. Their eyes meet like so many times before but it feels different, as if their standing at the edge of a cliff.

Cas takes a deep breath and jumps. He might lose Dean with what he’s about to say, but he finally understands that there’s no more time left. He wasted too much of it already.

“I was standing in my bedroom, looking at the ring. I thought about the wedding and that there’s a good chance that I’ll never get anything like it. I put it on because I wanted to know what it would feel like. Receiving a gift like that, being loved, getting married. I knew it wasn’t real, but I was lost and sad and I- I needed to feel something good.”

“Cas-” Dean’s whole body deflates, and Cas almost wishes he would stay angry. He can’t have Dean be all tender and understanding with him. Still, he bathes in the gaze of Dean’s warm eyes. “How can you think you’ll never have that?”

Cas wants to shrug. He wants to give a stupid excuse, maybe make a joke. Instead, he has to be brave for once. “Because I wanted to receive a gift like that from you. I wished to be loved by you. I dreamed about getting married to you. For me, you are the one.”

Dean stares at Cas with wide eyes. The silence in the room is deafening, something lingering between them. There’s a storm coming. “You kept telling me that we’re friends,” Dean croaks. “I showed you the ring, talking about our future, and you told me we’re friends.”

Taking a step closer to Cas, Dean lifts his hand with the box. “After Lisa, I came out to you first. I wanted so bad for you to understand that there could be more. Again, you told me that we’re just friends. And now what? Are you saying you had feelings for me the whole time?”

Cas has a hard time processing what Dean is saying to him. Even worse is the look in Dean’s eyes. He’s anxious, confused, lost. Cas wants to take all of it away but doesn’t know how. “I didn’t want to risk our friendship if you didn’t return my feelings.”

“Jesus, Cas.” Dean turns away from him, running a hand through his hair. Then he turns back, shaking. “I broke up with Benny because of you. I saw that damn ring on your finger and everything else just faded away. I forgot my freaking fiance. All I could think about was how the ring was already in the right place. How it belongs there. How you belong with me.”

Cas’ head feels as light as if he’s about to faint any second. Dean takes a step closer to him. “I made so many stupid mistakes. I miss you the second you leave the room. I’d risk everything for you. You can heal me, and you make me forget the world around us. All this time, you’ve given me nothing but love, never asking for anything in return. I had the one with me all this time. It’s you, Cas. It’s always been you.”

Dean takes Cas’ hand, pushing the little box into it. “This belongs to you, no matter what.”

“Dean.” Cas’ eyes widen in shock, the box burning a hole in his hand. “This is for the person you’ll marry.”

“Like we’re not already married,” Dean chuckles. “The bickering. Stupid miscommunication. I’ve even seen you without makeup.”

Cas laughs, the built up tension breaking out of him. “Shut up.”

Dean lifts his hands, framing Cas’ face in slow motion. Cas can barely feel the soft touch. “May I kiss you?”

“Yes,” Cas breathes as sparks erupt in his stomach, lighted by warm waves that seem to spring out of Dean’s fingertips, coating Cas’ body.

Pulling Cas closer, Dean brings their lips together, the kiss so tender, Cas is melting into Dean. He misses the touch the second Dean moves away. “If you tell me that we’re just friends one more time, I’ll have to kill you. You know that, right?’

Cas tilts his head back, needing to see Dean’s bemused face. He shouldn’t have doubted them. “How about husbands instead?” Cas asks, holding up the ring. “Will you marry me, Dean?”

Dean’s smile lights up the room. He grabs Cas more forceful than before, answering in between kisses. “Yes. I. Will.”

Cas begins to see the world in a whole new light. His imagination was never enough. There’s nothing that feels as good as being held by Dean, kissed by Dean, loved by Dean.

 

* * *

 

Most things in Cas’ and Dean’s lives stay exactly the same. They have movie nights, eat dinner together, and plan another wedding. It takes six months for a few things to change.

They find an apartment and move in together. Dean changes Cas’ contact in his phone from “sunshine” to “fiance” to “husband.” (“What do you mean, why? Because I can, Cas.”) The ring now fits on Cas’ finger. And most importantly, Castiel Novak now listens to the name Castiel Winchester.

Being the groom is a lot more fun than being the best man.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! :)
> 
> The story is based on a prompt by [Heikü](http://cas-watches-over-you.tumblr.com) for my 800 follower celebration on tumblr.
> 
> If you want to send in a prompt, check out [this post](https://sternchencas.tumblr.com/post/185168190501/800-followers-celeb) on tumblr. I would be happy to see you there. :D


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